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Posts Tagged ‘Staying’

When you break up with a lover it may look to you that all is lost and that can sometimes become really demoralizing. What you have to recognize is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is entirely finished at this point. You may feel like you are toast, your heart  aches, you can’t think of anything else, you keep playing back the issues that led up to this over and over in your brain and yet you still feel that if the chance presented itself, you would just jump back into that relationship with your ex lover all over again. If you find yourself asking ” How can I get my ex back?”, then there are a few things that you need to know. As long as you know the secrets of how you should behave following a breakup and you understand that you should be mindful not to put any more strain on the relationship than there already is, then your odds of getting back together again should be greatly improved.  It can be very challenging to stay confident and cheerful after a break up. Authorities on relationships suggest that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way towards helping you to get your ex back. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can help resolve the question of “how can I get my ex back?”Stay positive and keep your confidence – If you are asking “how can I get my ex back?”, then you must stay upbeat and confident. I can’t accentuate this enough! Don’t go around feeling all down and out. I know it’s tough but try to find means to keep your self busy. Do some things that you really enjoy that you might not have been able to do while in the relationship with your ex. Stop being depressed! Show your ex that you are much stronger and much more confident than they thought. Show them that you can handle this stressful situation and that if the need arises; you are perfectly capable of managing life without them. You may not feel this way at first but if you keep a confident attitude you will be amazed at how it will benefit you. Stay socially involved – If you truly want to get your ex back then surrounding yourself with people who back your cause is crucial to your mental state and your well being. Try and hang around people who have positive attitudes and good friends, people who appreciate you. Show your ex that people do appreciate you, and that they love having you around. Your ex will eventually begin to see you in a new light. They will soon start to understand that you are someone that they simply can’t afford to totally let go. This is one of the ways to let your ex notice you in a new light. Stay well groomed – Another solution to “how can I get my ex back?” is to not permit your appearance reflect your actual state of affairs. Pay detailed attention to your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, the way you walk, your posture, your shoes and even the way you sound. As previously mentioned, it can be very hard to stay upbeat and act happy after a break up. Practicing these things will not only dramatically increase your self-confidence but after a very short time you will authentically feel good about yourself once again. Sustaining a good appearance can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all. These three secrets can be the key to assisting you to attain confidence and get your ex back.  Read more... (755 words, 1 image, estimated 3:01 mins reading time)

In the beginning of your relationship, “we’ness” probably ran rampant. We this, we that. No doubt, you felt connected and functioned as a team- each supporting the other. In fact, that’s happy couples’ biggest secret- they maintain team morale long after the glow fades. Problem is, once daily life gets in the way, it’s easy to end up on opposite sides- blaming each other and feeling like you’re working toward different goals- rather than working together. 
So what’s the key to rediscovering Teamwork? Take a hint from your favorite sports team to remind yourself of the basics:
Name and Mascot: How do you know someone’s a Bronco’s fan? It’s easy- they wear Bronco’s colors, display their emblems, and cheer “Go Bronco’s!” Well, your team is no different. You need a way to reinforce your we’ness and show yourselves, if not the world, that you are behind each other 100%. So be creative . . . decide what your team stands for and have a name or idea that evokes that for you. Or, have a ritual that signifies your we-ness. Be unique and let your imaginations run wild. The exercise itself will bring your closer together, now and in the future. 
Purpose: Every team has a purpose and successful teams never lose sight of the main goal. While you and your partner’s purpose may not be to score as many touchdowns as possible- your union does serve an important purpose. And every couple is different. Sit down and remind yourselves: What is your biggest purpose? Why are you together? 
Meeting: Find a way to keep that purpose front and center- for sports teams, they have meetings. How else would they keep in touch, check progress on their goals, and plan their next moves to stay on track? Your team should have regular meetings too! Once a week or at least once a month, schedule a couple or family meeting to address your progress toward key goals and keep communication clear. 
Leadership: Every successful team has wise leaders guiding the way. In this case- you both need to be leaders- ones who know how to compromise. It’s important that each member of the couple is allowed to lead in the areas where you are strong. Power needs to be shared and rotated. If you end up with too many power struggles- your team will lose. 
Practice: No Team wins without practicing essential skills. Relationships are no different! If you are weak in important relationship skills- you’re team is going to flounder. It takes a lifetime to learn excellent communication, conflict resolution, sharing, intimacy, cooperation, etc skills. Keep sharpening your repertoire!
Coaching: Lastly, no one is successful alone. Even top competitors in all fields make use of coaches- you simply need an objective view sometimes. So, read relationship books, make use of online information sources, create a couples support group, or when needed, seek outside assistance. 
So, what’s your teamwork level? Feeling like you are on opposing sides of a losing argument? Than it’s time to boost your teamwork skills! Review the above factors and decide which aspects of teamwork you need to focus on to start winning again! When you and your partner are working together on the same Team, love always wins!  Read more... (631 words, 1 image, estimated 2:31 mins reading time)